عاشق شده اي، اي دل؟ سودات مبارك باد

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میلاد ۴۴ام – ارزشش را داشت؟

کارگاه آموزشی ۶ ساعته مدیریت کمپین از طراحی تا ارزیابی (رایگان)

چهل‌وچهار سالگیت مبارک!

به بهانه سالگرد ازدواجمان:

آن به آن، از انتخاب و بودن نازنيني چون تو خرسندتر و مسرورترم! حتي زمانهايي كه در احوال دشوار وجودي و انساني و در قابل انقطاع ترين حالت!! دوست داشتمان به مويي بند مي شود! اما يادمان نمي رود كه:
دامن دوست! به صد خون دل افتاد به دست!
به فسوسي كه كند خصم! جدا نتوان كرد!!

شكر خدا كه هنوز و بعد از قريب به يك دهه، تئوري ام و احتمالا تئوريمان، همچنان اين است كه: ((عشق در نگاه اول)) و ((عشق به تنهايي كافي است))!!
شكر خدا كه هرچه طلب كردم از خداي!
بر منتهاي مطلب خود كامران شدم!!

به زعم من و به واسطه تجربه شخصي، عبور از هيچ معبري چون منزل ليلي كه خطرهاست در آن، ان هم هر چقد سخت تر و دورتر، به هيچ مرد عاشقي، بيش از اين اعتماد به نفسي كه اين هفت خوان موهبت مي كند را، هديه نمي كند! و اين احساس به تعبير من رستم وار، وقتي دو چندان مي شود كه در اين رابطه، هيچ چيزي جز دوست داشتن دليل اين گرايش نيست و نمي تواند باشد! دانشجوي يك لاقبايي كه با هيچ، يكه و تنها، غير مستظهر به هيچ پشتيباني، دست خالي، كيلومتر ها أمده به سروقت أنچه دلش تصديق كرده! وه! چقدر احساس غرور مي كند! حتي بيشتر از زماني كه در تحقق چشم اندازه هايي كه ديگر نيست! جانشين ((جك ولش)) در GE شود!!!
هنگام تنگ دستي! در عشق! كوش و مستي
كيت كيمياي هستي! قارون كند گدا را

نه سال سختي رو كه گفتي به ياد نمي أورم! شايد دليلش لذت مردانه اي باشد كه از همه اين فراز و نشيبهايي كه پشت سر گذاشتيم برده ام و يا لذتي باشد كه به واسطه نوع شخصيتم از تنهايي مي برم و يا به قول هميشه تو، غربتي باشد كه ان را تجربه نمي كنم، همان كه تو تنها و دور از خانواده، تنهايي را فقط و فقط به خاطر من برگزيدي! و شايد بارها در همان احوال دروني از خود پرسيده اي كه أيا ارزشش را داشت؟
فارغ از نتيجه اين گفتگوهاي دروني، اين انتخاب دشوارت، هميشه به عنوان دِيني غيرقابل پرداخت و البته غرور أفرين به ذمه لاغر من باقي خواهد ماند!
من كه سر بر نياورم به دو كون!
گردنم زير بار منت توست …

مانايي فزاينده عشقي كه بين ما شبيه همين ((آیین)) مان در حال حيات است و اگرچه روز به روز، جنس و شكل ان و حتي تكانهاي أن تغيير مي كند! اما چقدر احساس خوشبختي را مضاعف و شكر أن را واجب مي كند! از بودن اين عشق و عدم ندامت با وجود همه هزينه هاي معنوي مترتب بر أن را، حتي در همه روزها و به تعبير تو سختي هايي كه بسياري از زندگي ها و عشقهاي أتشين تَر را به خاموشي كشانده!
روزگاري شد و كس مرد ره عشق نديد!
حاليا! چشم جهاني نگران من و تو است …

شايد سِرِ اين عشق و محبت، همين باشد كه من و تو به اندازه طاقت بشريمان، مانع تحقق يكديگر نشديم! حتي اگر گاهي قلبا و عقلا نيز با أن مصاديق و شرايط بر سر مهر نبوديم!

يادت هست؟
دوستت دارم به اندازه هرچه دل تنهاييت بخواهد!
را مي گويم!
و
عاشق شده اي، اي دل؟ سودات مبارك باد …

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یادداشت‌های مرتبط

میلاد ۴۴ام – ارزشش را داشت؟

کارگاه آموزشی ۶ ساعته مدیریت کمپین از طراحی تا ارزیابی (رایگان)

چهل‌وچهار سالگیت مبارک!