
آیین در خواب غلت میزند و میگوید: ((کسی با من بازی نمیکند؟)) بدنم تیر میکشد! تا قبل از این دو سه هفته و در همهی این پنج سال گذشته هیچ وقت نشده است که آیین به من دستوری بدهد و من در اجابت آن حتی لحظهای درنگ کنم. اما این دو سه هفته و روزهای دورکاری من به دلیل دیابت و مشکل ایمنی بدنم برای حفاظت بیشتر از #کرونا و خانهنشینی او به دلیل تعطیلی مهدککودک این قاعده بر هم خورد و این خواب او نشان میدهد که این سه هفته همهی تلاشهای مرا در ناخودآگاه او به هم زده است. انگار آب سرد بر بدن من ریختهاند از روز میلاد او همیشه در اولین فرصت ممکن به خانه آمدهام و در بست در خدمت او بودهام تا صفر تا پنجسالگی خوبی داشته باشد. سال ۹۸ با این اتفاق بد تمام میشود تا نشان دهد که همیشه اتفاقات بدتری میتواند رخ دهد و بدیهیترین چیزها میتوانند بدیهی نباشند. سالهاست که میدانم از هر چه میترسم به سرم میآید. ترسهای عزیز من، مرا دربربگیرید.
آیین نازنیم. این تمام توان بابایی بود. تمامش. ببخش اگر کم بود.
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