
خدا سینه به سینه ام ایستاده است!
انگار دنیا Mute شده است!
فقط نفس نفس های سی و چندساله ام را می شنوم!
در این سالها آنقدر حواسم به بی نقصی حرکاتم بود که مستحضر این هم آغوشی نبودم!
چه تاسفی!
انگار یک لحظه او رقصمان را Pause کرده است!
چه تاسفی!
این سی و چند سال رقصیدن را صرف نگاههای مخاطبین کردم!
او چقدر سخاوتمندانه تحمل کرده و من امروز چقدر شهوت هم آغوشی با او دارم …
یک رقص یک نفره!!
هر چیز با او جمع می شود حاصل فقط اوست …
در همه این سالها او در هر حرکت بیم هایم را به امید مبدل ساخته و رویاهایم را به ترس …
هر چقدر بیشتر وسواس بخرج دادم، برنامه ریزی کردم، پیش بینی کردم در ضرب الاجل رویاهایم چقدر ساده رنگ ترسهایم را گرفته، ساده انگاریست که اقداماتم را متضمن تحقق آنها دانسته ام! دقیقا همان اکنون بود که سایه های رویاهایم (ترسها) به سراغ رویاهایم آمدند!
در این لذت تنهایی،
یعنی رقصی چنین میان میدان،
ترسها و رویاها را به یک اندازه دوست دارم!
با این زلفی که در این دست دارم آنچنان احساس یکپارچگی و اتحاد می کنم
و با آن جامی که در آن دست بی تفاوت به همه چیز،
اینجا و اکنون بیم ها با امیدها تفاوتی ندارد،
اینجا همانجایی که هیچ چیز با هیچ چیز توفیر نمی کند!
در این نقاط می توانیم نمودار بی تفاوتی را پیدا کنیم!
در اینجاست که آنقدر احساس تنهایی و فقر فربه ات می کند که احساس بی نیاز و غنا سبکت می کند!
نه از این سبک ها که با بادی جا به جا شوی!
از آن سبک ها که به سادگی به آسمان سر می کشی …
فرقی نمی کند که رقص تو چه حالی به دیگران می دهد!
دیگران در تو حسادتها، حقارتها و یا کمالهای خود را منعکس می کنند …
از رقصت لذت ببر!
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